Artificially Enhanced, part 2, 2017

Remar, summer, 2017
Si'Enya Warwick is 25; Trevor Yates is 35

narrated by Trevor

I miss home, I'm barely around and at times I hate being away. My schedule is so busy now that it's hard to stay focused. Thankfully Si'Enya is patient with me and she helps me put everything in order. We usually take long walks in the evening after dinner when I am home and I can tell her everything that's happening and all the new projects and opportunities. She's the one who helps keep me grounded by reminding me to do what I love, not follow the money.

It's really her that I miss when I am away. It's obviously more than just physical, though that part of our relationship is pretty nice as well.

It's her prescence. How we can wake up together and enjoy an early morning breakfast of fresh pancakes. We don't talk a lot, but silence isn't always a bad thing. It's a wonderful feeling to have Si'Enya in my life to share those moments of silence and just sit and be together.

I love how her hair is smushed on one side of her head in the morning and how she still has dried drool marks on her cheek since we were too hungry to shower or brush our teeth or wash our face. They say that those things you find cute when you are dating will eventually become annoying when you're married. I can't wait to see.

I know it's hard dating a celebrity. The rumors, the tabloids, the long tours and lonely nights. The current rumor is that I'm fooling around behind Si'Enya's back with a new singer. I wish I could tell the truth, but I can't. Si'Enya has been visiting me in StudioTown with a wig and disguise. It was her idea, but we can't come out and say it since she was supposed to be doing research in the field and if the university finds out...well, her post-doc position would be in danger. So I have to look at tabloids saying I'm dating a new singer and that I'm a cheater. 

I try to make the most of everytime I'm back home, but this time it was more important to make some time for Si'Enya and I. I had a very important question to ask her.

I told her that we would be going to the mountains to a new resort that had opened, just the two of us.

We packed our bags and I double checked to make sure that I had everything I needed.

I was nervous when we checked in,

I was so determined to ask Si'Enya this time and not chicken out like I did the first time. It was two simyears ago and I knew that I was ready, but when I started to say the words and reach into my pocket, Si'Enya's eyes filled with this fear.

I didn't want to push her away, not after I had waited so long to finally be with her, so I changed my tune.

This time, this time I think she's ready. I've tried to see how she is around weddings and taking more serious steps in our relationship.

I try to talk about "our children" and "our home" and she gets this blissful smile on her face, like when we just finish woohoo, but it quickly turns into a blank look.

I've known her long enough to know that she struggles with insecurity and not feeling like she's good enough. I know that I can't convince her that she's more than enough, so I have to be patient and walk with her on her journey.

We did the usual touristy things, like buy overpriced trinkets for Si'Enya's coworkers in the lab

though I couldn't stop myself from flirting with my lovely girlfriend.

Of course, I'm nervous when we get back. I start a fire to take my mind off of things.

It doesn't help, Si'Enya notices and then she starts babbling with her assumptions.

She wonders if I'm sick, or if I'm tired, or if I'm angry for some reason and if I am angry then am I angry at her.

I shush her with a kiss because reasoning with her once she goes down that path doesn't work.

I'm sure she can taste the whiskey on my tongue, my liquid courage as I call it, because she shuts up and looks at me seriously.

The words come out not at all like I wanted them to.

If I were to do it all over again, 

I would sing the song I wrote for her,

I would let the words tell her of my love

and my hopes for our future.

But apparently, my words

though awkward

were good enough.

She said yes!

She said that she would be my wife 

and I can't describe the feeling that I have!

Yes!

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The Warwick-Yates wedding is scheduled for Spring 2019