If I Could Change Your Mind, Part 1, 2021

Havar, fall, 2021
Verde is 34, Lainey is 34, Esperanza is 9, Carmela is 61

Optional Soundtrack: HAIM-If I Could Change Your Mind

narrated by Esperanza

Mami is dating some guy and she insists on introducing him to me. I'm nine so I know what that means. It means she wants to marry him.

So I ask. There's no point in keeping secrets.

Mami says that yes, she loves him and would like to marry him.

However, Mami is willing not to marry this guy is I don't like him.

Now I can't help but feel guilty. I want mami to be happy. It's not that I don't want her to get remarried one day...but...things will change. I don't like change. 

I hated it when mami and papi divorced. But now it's ok. We all live near each other and I can walk between my two houses anytime. 

Mami wants us to all meet for Harvest Day at some fancy place so I can meet this guy.

I'm a little bummed out, but I don't show it. Usually mami and papi and abuela and I all get together for Harvest Day, even though mami and papi are supposed to take turns. I guess I'll have to get used to that now.

I tell mami that I'll be ready for Harvest Day and give her a big hug. She seems relieved. 

Whoever this mystery guy is, I like him a little bit. He makes mami smile from her eyes and she seems more calm now. 

I try to remind myself of this as I wait in my stiff dress on Harvest Day. 

When she walks through the door, my heart freezes. Now I can't help but wonder if I could change mami's mind. If we could just go home with Bear and have everything stay the same.