Havar, fall, 2017
Brandon is 39, Ilila is 38, Jude and Brooklyn are 8; Audrey is 5
narrated by Ilila
We go through the motions of eating breakfast.
Brandon rakes the leaves, as usual
and doesn't get upset when the children play in the piles, as usual.
Brooklyn practices ballet at the barre, as usual
and the children have friends playing in the street, as usual.
It's Harvest Day and I'm making the meal, I try not to cry as I cut my finger, as usual, preparing the turkey.
I want this holiday to be special, it might be our last one together.
I make Brandon's favorites
and we eat together as a family.
I insist on a family photo and the kids all smile for the camera.
I try not to think about it as Brandon gets up in the morning
and caresses my face, as usual.
But as he dresses in his uniform
and walks past the television report of the war. I know that I cherish our "as usual's" since they may not be our "as usual's" for a while...or forever.