Painful Lack, 2006

Peacar, winter, 2006
Optional Soundtrack, Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone

Cameron washed her hands as she put the remains of dinner away. She could hear Tobi making his way downstairs after tucking the children into bed. The day had finally come, but it didn't make it any easier.

"Well?" she asked as he joined her on the couch.

"Why can't we just keep things like this?"

"You know I can't.I want more."

Tobi knew what she wanted from him, but he honestly couldn't give it to her. He tried to think of a reason why. Was he scarred from the divorce with Li? No, the divorce was amicable, some sims thought too amicable. Was it Ginger's rejection of his love? He knew that this wasn't it either. It had hurt, but he knew that they would have never worked. His parents still had a happy marriage that was an example to any young couple.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but quickly closed it again. There were no words to say. Every time he tried to think of his future with Cameron...he drew a blank. Other days Cameron's face would melt away and he would see Li. He wasn't having romantic feelings for his ex-wife, quite the contrary. He only wanted to chat with her or tell her about the funny joke he heard in the department meeting.

Maybe that should have told him more than the lack of marriage wants for Cameron. He didn't come home wanting to share his day with her or tickle her until she cried. Instead he wanted to share his day with Li, hear her laugh at their inside jokes or see if she could still beat him in red hands now that he had been practicing with Aaron.

Cameron sighed. His silence said it all.

"So this is where the road ends,"

"I guess so."

Cameron tried not to cry. She wanted to get married and have a family, she thought that Tobi would be the one she could settle down with. It had been two simyears, two precious little boys and not even a hint of an engagement ring, but plenty of hints that he was still not over his ex-wife. Even after the pregnancy scare a few simlonic months ago didn't spur him to do the right thing and marry her.

"We'll have to set-up child support payments," she said putting on her strong face. She had to be strong, it was now her and her two boys. Thankfully her new job allowed her to work from home, but she would have to get an apartment and start paying bills alone.

"Of course, we can visit the lawyers to get everything worked out." He wanted to ask her to stay, to let things remain the way that they were. However, he knew that it wouldn't work, that he would make her cry and that she would slowly start to drive him insane with her begging for a proposal. He loved her, he would always love her. He honestly loved her more than he loved Li...so why wasn't that enough to make him want to marry her? To give her his last name and stop playing at marriage, as she called it. He wished that he had an answer, but he felt like a jerk.

He couldn't give her what she needed and he didn't even have a good reason. There wasn't another woman whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, there wasn't any scars from past relationships, and there wasn't a fear of marriage. The only thing was a clear and painful lack. A lack of desire in making her his wife, a lack of communication, just a simple lack.

Cameron swallowed and moved away from the couch. The pain in the room was thick and heavy like the snow falling outside. She could hear the uncried tears, she could taste the hidden pain. Cameron pushed all those feelings away and turned the computer on. She spent the rest of the evening searching for cheap apartments and filling out rental applications.

The next morning, she received a phone call informing her that there was an available apartment and that she could move in within the week. The couple silently packed the few boxes that belonged to Cameron and the boys. Simora and Aaron watched quietly, not quite understanding everything they saw, but understanding enough to know that they would be seeing a lot less of their brothers.

Child support papers were filled, it wasn't much considering that Tobi was also a single parent with a small salary. Who was she kidding, it wasn't even enough to pay electricity even though it was a quarter of his salary. No wonder why those songs talked about it being cheaper to stay together.

With the help of Tobi and his friends, Cameron was able to get all the furniture set up in the tiny apartment before nightfall.

She had just finished feeding Christopher,

and reading Craig his bedtime story, before giving the young boy a bath when she heard the knock on the door.

She looked in the peephole, but didn't recognize the man. "It's Devin, from apartment 3C." The man yelled towards the door. "I just wanted to introduce myself."

Cameron opened the door cautiously, still on guard.

"Hi," he said a little too brightly for the late hour. "Just wanted to say welcome to the complex."

"Thanks."

"My name's Devin."

"Cameron"

"Well Cameron," he said giving her a bright smile. "I live across the hall, so if you need anything, let me know."

"Anything?" she asked as Craig crawled into the living room and flashed a toothy grin.

"Anything," he grinned.

"Do you have soap? I need to give my oldest a bath and I just discovered that I didn't pack soap."

Devin laughed before darting across the hall. He returned with an unopened packaged. "Hopefully this will work. It's formulated for sensitive skin, so it should work for a toddler right?"

"It should, thank you."

"No worries. You have a good night and welcome to the complex."

"Thank you, Devin."

"Come on stinky one," Cameron said scooping Craig up in her arms. "Time for a bath."