Monday, March 31, 2014

Wasn't There Anymore, 2017

Hapar, spring, 2017
Abel is 22, Myra is 23

narrated by Myra

The news is still early. Not fresh pee on a stick early, but still early enough that we are being selective about who we share our news with. I spend a lot of time on the sofa sleeping and trying not to move due to motion sickness.

We had to get a loan. Another loan on top of our mortgage. Abel said that we needed to get the house in a decent state of repair before the baby came. We spent a week in a hotel and Abel and his work friends did most of the work. They had to rip out old electrical systems, update the roof, update the plumbing and eradicate a patch of mold that was found in the kitchen. Those were not cheap fixes, but thankfully they are behind us. The sad part is that we can't really see those fixes, but they make our house safer. We had some money left to do some basic cosmetic things like paint all the rooms. Abel even did some work in the kitchen for me. I want to paint the cabinets and stencil the walls with paint, so he primed the cabinets and walls for me.

I've also been spending a lot of time working on my toy crafting skills. I'm getting better, but we'll have to find a new place for my bench since my crafting room will become the nursery. 

Brrr, I don't want to work in the basement though.

Our parents have made some pretty big moves lately, both of them downsized. My dad said that the apartment townhouse was too big for he and Udar, especially since Udar would be going to university soon. Abel's parents said the same thing of their brownstone in the metro. They offered the home to us, but we couldn't afford to pay Amanda for her share of the house, so instead they gave Abel and Amanda some cash from the sale.

When we discovered that we were pregnant, it was soon after they moved, so we visited them in their new homes to tell them the news.

My dad was so happy. 

Abel said that he couldn't tell, but dad isn't a very emotional man. 

When we were leaving, he grabbed me in the tightest hug I've had from him in a long time.

"I'm so happy and your mother would be beside herself with excitement."

That felt bittersweet. I miss mom and it's hard doing this without her.

The hardest visit was Abel's parents. They were still mourning the loss of Ana Rayne who one moment was there with them

and the next wasn't there anymore.

Abel did most of the talking when we visited them.

They were excited as well. This would be the first grandchild for both parents.

Even though I knew that they were happy, 

I didn't miss the unshed tears in Rebecca's eyes when she hugged Abel. It's so hard sharing good news on the coattails of bad news.
Baby Wilsonoff is due Fall 2017


  1. Awww, this made me happy and sad, all at the same time. So many bad thins have happened, I hope the baby brings some joy back into everyone's lives.

    1. I hope so too. It reminds me of the old saying that when one life leaves, another one enters the world. Thanks for reading and commenting

  2. This of course is good news, but I understand why it would be hard sharing. Myra lost a mother, Abel lost a sister. I hope that this will help all of them heal.

    1. The baby reminds them of the empty voids, like had hire never meeting her grandchildren and Myra not having her mother around for yet another important life event. Thanks for reading and commenting

  3. This was a bittersweet update, so sad about the loss of Ana Rayne, yet life continues and the new baby is exciting too. Hard to allow yourself to be wholly happy when your missing an important piece. And so sad for Myra to not have her mother to share in these new moments of pregnancy and motherhood. Poor girl. This moment should have been so much happier and easier if loved ones were still there.

    1. They're still trying to figure out how to be happy yet honor their grief and sadness over missing family members and moments that will never be. Thanks for reading and commenting

  4. Aw, I'm happy about Abel and Myra's baby but I definitely felt the bittersweetness everyone else did. There's someone missing on both sides of the family and that has to be tough for everybody. :(

    1. There is a lot of sadness rig now for these families, Narajs girlfriends death, the death of Ana Rayne and of course Jadhira. I think as the pregnancy progresses, the family will begin to focus on the happier things but the grief is very fresh for everyone, thanks for reading and commenting

  5. I know how everyone must be feeling. When you've lost someone you love it can feel like being happy is insulting their memory. It must be so hard for Myra and Abel, knowing that Jadhira and Ana Rayne won't be part of their child's life, but maybe the baby will bring a little happiness back to them all. *tissue*

    1. Exactly, how to move on, yet how to honor those who are gone. I think they have a rocky road in front of them with that struggle, thanks for reading and commenting


Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment! :)

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