Holding Back, Part 1, 2007

Hapar, spring, 2007

Susie is 21; Anthony Wren is 26

Spring was supposed to be a time of renewed love between sims,

something about the air would ignite the love and passion in relationships.

It seemed as if that air failed to make it into the apartment that Susie and Anthony shared.
 
She hated the arguments, but things had changed so much since her tour. Now she had filmed the new Aerial Bionic video and was working on the video for the girl group Glitter. Her agent had even promised her an audition with an emerging band, Mellow Metal, which was sure to be the next big thing.

 
She didn't need to be tied down right now, which meant the wedding was on hold...indefinitely. Susie glanced at her ring and sighed. It wasn't that she didn't love Anthony or want to be with him, she did, but...she had things in her life she needed to accomplish, goals to achieve and fame to gain. At least that was what she explained to her foster mother when she called asking about the abnormally long engagement.
 
"I'm just not ready yet," she said. "Yes...I love him...yes, I do want to marry him, just not tomorrow."

 
Anthony couldn't figure out what it was that was scaring Susie. They had survived almost a simyear apart and he felt that the couple was finally making headway and that Susie was finally figuring out that they were perfect for each other and that his love for her overflowed from his heart everyday.

 

"Honestly, women confuse the crap out of me," Harris, their downstairs neighbor explained. Anthony had ran into him while getting the mail and once thing lead to another and now they were discussing relationships.

 

"I find that hard to believe, you're happily married."

 

"Do you know how long it took me to convince Jasmine that we should get married. I had to impregnate her to get her to walk down the aisle. That's a thought, you could always toss the birth control."
 
"I don't think that's a viable option for us at the moment, we're both pretty young."
 
"Well, that is one surefire way to get her to walk down the aisle."

 
Anthony couldn't believe that he was seriously considering Harris's words later that night as he prepared dinner.

 
He knew that they would have to find a way to compromise, he just hoped that she wouldn't attempt to run away like she did last summer.

 
"Why couldn't I fall in love with a normal woman who wants to get married and spend the rest of our lives together," he groaned.

 
"This is great," Susie said as the meat slowly melted in her mouth.
 
"Thanks."

 
"You've been quiet. What's on your mind?" she asked pushing her vegetables around.
 
"You know what's on my mind, Susie." Anthony said fixing her with his hypnotic eyes.

 
Susie tried to keep her ground and not become too emotional. "Anthony...seriously, I don't know what you want from me."
 
"I want you to be my wife."
 
"I want to be your wife, just not tomorrow."
 

"How about the day after tomorrow? I'm free then."

 

"Anthony, you know what I mean."

 

"No, I don't. What do you mean when you say you want to be my wife, but not tomorrow? We've been engaged for almost two simyears now.  What is holding you back?"
 
"I...I don't know." She lied.
 
"You're lying. I know why."

 
"Why?"
 
"That's for you to discover and deal with, Susie, not me." He said taking their plates to the sink. "Come on, we still have some time, let's go dancing."

 
Susie couldn't help but ponder on his words as they danced on the empty dance floor, which made sense considering it was the middle of the week. What was holding her back?
 
She tried to think of all the things that scared her about marriage, her parent's strange ritual-like marriage that resulted in six children and cost her mother her sanity and her father his life. What if her genetics caused her to make the same mistake, to strive to produce the coveted blue child. She tried to think about all the reasons sims say not to get married before you turn 30 and how young she was. She knew that she was scared...but losing Anthony was perhaps the scariest of all. What if they failed at marriage and divorced? What was the point of getting married if you had to endure that pain.
 
"There are no guarantees in life," he whispered.
 
"I know."

 
"But you can count on me loving you forever."
 
Susie smiled, "I love you, let's get married."
 
"Really? When?"
 
"This winter, that should give us lots of time to plan. However, tonight, I would love to go home. I want to show you something."

 
"Is this what you wanted to show me?" Anthony asked admiring the new underwear.

 
"Almost," Susie said coyly, peeking outside into the hallway. "Come on."
 
"Are you serious? The elevator?"
 
"Are you scared, Mr. Wren?"

 
"Heck, yea. You know I don't understand your need for public woohoo."
 

"Come on, it'll be fun."

 

"I'm sure of that, but what if we get caught?"

 
"That's the fun part," she said wrapping her arms around him as the doors closed.

 
"I can't believe we did that."
 
"It was fun, right?"

 
"Oh, yea. Lots of fun," he said giving her a crooked grin.