Angels Cry, Part 2

Givar, winter, 2011

S'Ahmisa Warwick is 24, Rashid Cunningham is 25, Tyisha Masters is 20, Si'Eyna is 19, Trevor Yates is 29
Optional Soundtrack: Angels Cry-Mariah Carey ft. Ne-Yo

S'Ahmisa knocked on the door. She was desperate and she needed company. Ming was on a business trip, Krissy and Alphonso were on a date night according to their babysitter and her parents were in Simborough visiting her mother's brother. She had tried Si'Enya's dorm room, but her roommate didn't know where she was and Verde wasn't speaking to her anymore. I need to prove myself to Lainey he had said.

"S'Ahmisa?" Trevor asked opening the door. "Are you ok?"

"I'msosorry, it'sreallylate, IknowitbutItriedeveryoneandnooneisaround, Ijustneedsomeonetotalkto!" She wailed.

"S'Ahmisa??" Si'Enya peeked her head around the corner as Trevor tried to understand what S'Ahmisa had just said.

"Si'Enya!" S'Ahmisa said flinging herself into her sister's arms.

"I'll make you guys a drink...it seems like you'll need something strong." Trevor said disappearing into the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here? And where are your clothes?"

"Uh...eh..."

"Ohmigoodness! You're sleeping with Trevor!"

"It's a bit more than that."

"Then what is it, tell me all about it."

Si'Enya gave her sister the concise version of events as the sipped their drinks.

"Why didn't you tell me?" S'Ahmisa asked, trying to keep the lump of tears out of her throat.

"I was going to tell you and mom and dad. We were waiting until after the election was over. We didn't want to mess anything up for you. Can you imagine the press once our relationship gets out?"

S'Ahmisa bit her lip to keep from crying out. She couldn't believe that her baby sister had kept the news of her first boyfriend, her first woohoo, her first everything from her...just because of the election.

She put the glass to her lips again and felt the amber liquid slightly burn her throat. Her head was filled with the voice of another woman.

You have to make sure all your friends and family members fit into these neat little defined roles to support your career, or heaven forbid that you realize that they are real and actually have feelings and opinions.

Just take a look around you, a good look. You'll see that you have everyone pretending to be something that they're not just to please you.

It was as if S'Ahmisa had been walking in a fog and now everything was becoming more clear. The nights when Si'Enya wouldn't be in her dorm, Rashid not sharing the news about winning another game development project, her parents smiling for the cameras when they were suffering with allergies. She had never once asked them what was really going on in their lives, only making sure that they understood that they needed to keep their noses clean for her campaign.

It was unfair and selfish and so unlike her. It was as if the campaign had taken over, but she had wanted this. She remembered being a child and saying that she wanted to be mayor and now that moment was just simdays away. It was unofficial, but she was being treated as a mayor. The other politicians talked to her as if she had already won the election because the votes were that secure in her favor.
 

"S'Ahmisa, are you ok? Tell me why you are here in the middle of the night?"
 
S'Ahmisa looked at her little sister and opened her mouth before closing it again. It all seemed so silly, so stupid. How could she be mad at Rashid for lying and hiding things from her when she apparently had put them all in a position that they needed to lie and hide things from her. What kind of love was that?
 
She shook her head. "It seems silly now, but Rashid and I had a fight. It doesn't matter, tell me more about you and Trevor. I want to know all the details I missed...unless you two should be doing something else," she teased.
---

 

Rashid wasn't sure what to think when she had asked him to meet her.

 

He didn't expect her to lead him upstairs and apologize.

 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put you in a position that you were forced to lie to me."
 

Rashid opened his mouth, but she silenced him with her finger.

 

"This isn't easy for me, but I know now that I wasn't being fair to you...to anyone. I wasn't treating you like the man you are. I didn't respect you, I didn't support you and your goals. I only thought about myself. I was expecting you to play a role and then when you didn't fit that role, I got upset. I'm sorry. I know that it was selfish and that it wasn't love...at least it wasn't real love. I realize that now."

 

"What-what are you saying?"
 
"Real love accepts a sim as they are and not some perfected mental image of them. I've been asking you to change and that's not fair and that's...that's not real love...I'm sorry...I know better now and I hope that one day you will...you will be able to forgive me and that we...we can be friends again."
 
"Wait...are you...breaking up with me."
 
S'Ahmisa nodded, "If...if I truly loved you the way...the way that real love is supposed to be...supposed to love...I wouldn't have asked you to change. That's not fair and I'm...I'm so ashamed," she wailed before collapsing in his arms.
 
-----

It wasn't clear who made the first move or how they made it upstairs, but Rashid found himself staring down at the woman he loved and seeing her face streaked with tears and not knowing what to do to fix this, to fix them.
 

"Thank you," she whispered.

Being intimate with him one last time was both bittersweet and healing. He had tried to show her that he loved her through his tender caresses, that he would always love her as he trailed kisses down her spine. He tried to show her that she was the woman that he needed as she arched beneath him. He felt the same from her. He felt her try to hide it, but the way her fingers grabbed his neck and how her teeth nipped his neck in passion. More importantly, how she gasped I love you as their world disappeared like ripples on a lake.
 
Rashid sighed, "Are you sure about this?"
 
She nodded. She wasn't sure about anything. All she knew that logically if true love didn't demand perfection or demand that their partner change and she had been demanding changes from Rashid then she must not have true love for him. If she didn't have true love for him, then why should they waste their time. Why should she waste his time when he could have the love that movies talked about, even if it wasn't with her...at least he would be happy and truly loved.

She gasped as the tears threatened to break through again. She wanted to be capable of loving him, she wanted to have the strength to let him love her fully, she wanted to be the one that he woke up next to every day for the rest of their lives, but how could she when...when she had asked him to change...when she had asked him to play a role in the perfect script she had written for her life. She wished that she could turn back time, she would erase it all and start over. She was willing to die for their love, but how could she sacrifice herself for something that she wasn't sure was real.
 

"I love you...you know that right? That won't ever change," he said his voice thick with emotion.
 
S'Ahmisa blinked away the tears..."I...you will always have a place in my heart..."
 

She was too scared to say the words that her heart felt but that her head had proved invalid. I will love you forever.