Lovar, spring, 2017
Now I know why my father would sit for hours looking at the stars, talking to mom.
It's therapeutic in a way. Watching the little dim lights flicker, alone in your thoughts.
I got out, like everyone has been urging me to do, like you would have told me to do.
I went to eat, by myself, at a small cafe.
It's been bittersweet. Graduating with honors and getting accepted to medical school.
Alone. Without you, the victory isn't as fulfilling.
My sister is having a baby. I think you would be over the moon and insisting that we buy overpriced baby toys for her. I bet you would be there helping to monitor her diet and advising her on how to exercise during pregnancy. You would probably casually throw out a statement about us having kids. The way that you always did when you were trying to see my opinion on things.
Everywhere I go, I see sad faces looking back at me. Whispers about me and you. Sometimes they come over and wish me well, most times they just stare.
I tried going to the pool.
I looked at the water, imagining all the germs floating around and wondered why sims do this for fun.
I quickly backed away.
Then I swear I heard your voice saying "jump", so I did.
It was gross, absolutely gross. I could imagine you laughing at my discomfort and I missed the comforting hug and kiss that usually followed.
I miss you, Cassidy. How am I supposed to do this alone?